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Is Trauma Making You Controlling?


Is Trauma Making You Controlling?

Learn how to identify and address maladaptive control behaviors stemming from trauma in order to regain personal power and improve mental health.

Kristina and I, on a recent episode of the Recovered Life Show delved into an article from Psychology Today that explores the connection between chronic trauma and the development of controlling behavior. From the perspective of someone in recovery, it is essential to recognize that what is often labeled as character defects may, in fact, be survival skills or trauma responses. Understanding the impact of trauma on our belief systems and how it influences our desire for control can be crucial in the recovery process.

The article highlights that chronic trauma victims frequently experience an intense need to control their environment. It is vital to identify any maladaptive control behaviors we may have developed due to trauma and focus on objectively assessing our need for control.

Trauma is a prominent issue in addiction and recovery, and addressing it is critical. By examining our past, we can gain insight into why we developed specific belief systems and learn to release old ideas that no longer benefit us. Programs like Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACOA) can help by shifting the focus from character defects to survival skills.

The main takeaway from the article is that trauma victims can regain some personal power by recognizing and working on their control issues. It is not about obtaining anything, but rather about releasing old ideas and analyzing our need for control.

The belief that trauma is one of the most significant factors in addiction since the creation of the 12-step program underlines its importance. Addressing trauma is essential for engaging in healthy relationships, maintaining a healthy self-esteem, and living a fulfilling recovered life.

Sharing this video is valuable, as it offers insight into the impact of trauma on our need for control and suggests strategies for identifying and addressing these issues. It is a crucial topic for anyone in recovery or who has experienced trauma.

Key Takeaways:


What is the Recovered Life Show? The Recovered Life Show is a podcast that focuses on addiction and recovery.

What is ACOA? ACOA stands for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. It’s a program that focuses on healing from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family.

How can trauma affect our need for control? Chronic trauma can make a person feel like they need to control their surroundings to feel safe. This can result in maladaptive control behaviors that may be detrimental to healthy relationships and self-esteem.

How can we address control issues developed in response to trauma? We can address control issues by objectively assessing our need for control and letting go of old ideas that no longer serve us. Programs like ACOA can also be helpful.

Recovery is possible for anyone who feels stuck but requires work, commitment, and letting go of old ideas. The idea that a fulfilling life is impossible without drugs or alcohol is a misconception that can be overcome. Although the road to long-term sobriety may be challenging, thriving in a sober life is possible. As someone who has experienced these struggles firsthand, I specialize in coaching others to live their best-recovered lives. I work with a variety of individuals, including those in early sobriety, high-performing professionals, individuals struggling with addiction, high-risk relapsers, and even celebrities. With my guidance, clients can overcome their obstacles and pursue the life they truly desire. ​

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